fine whine

Everybody at one time or another discovers a common turn of phrase that really gets one's goat. Right now "Is that your final answer?" is tantamount to public flatulence on a bus to most people. My buddy Drew hated "You'll have that". And so forth. Today I realized that I cannot stand statements ending with "...like it's my job." As in, "I eat Oreos like it's my job" or "I watch American Idol like it's my job". Now I am neither an American Idol fan nor do I use this phrase, though I do enjoy an occasional Oreo. So why should what somebody else says bother me so? Is it because generally the sort of person who says exactly that seems to slack a little more on the job? One guy I knew said that constantly about anything from playing video games to using ketchup also prided himself on getting away with half hour potty breaks, IMing on his cell phone. Not your average workaholic, I'd venture.

So the real question remains—do I take my own job too seriously? Or am I just not eating enough Oreos?

I was in a presentation today, and heard about a group of people who were "positioned and goaled" to do something or other. Now 'position' has for a long time been an acceptable verb, but 'goal'? I assume from context that the people had been given a goal or a goal had been set for them, but I am at a loss to come up with another such usage. A goal just isn't something that can be given like a slap or a kiss. Someone can be given a present or be presented something, but they cannot be goaled. It just sounds stupid.

I suppose I just don't understand the need for certain people (generally higher up in bureaucracies) to verb nouns. I mean, is it harder to say "they have a set goal" than "they are goaled"? It saves, what, one second to say? That second is lost then if the listener has to figure out what it means. Then again, in bureaucracies, lower-downs merely are expected to nod to higher-ups, not comprehend what they're saying.

Oddly enough, I had two experiences today that made me happy. First, I got to be a major part of rejecting a production run of a badly-made garment at work. You see, until my ship comes in and I have a computer engineering job, I'm working for a large multinational fashion and beauty empire, doing various menial jobs. Lately, in between days cutting boxes open, I've been working in somewhat of an inspector role. And the jean I was looking at today had a lot of issues. It was stitched badly, looked ugly, and (my own turn of phrase) the belt loops were throwing up. That is to say the inside belt loop was longer than the outside. Which is like putting a Large Fries container inside one from a Happy Meal (thankfully, I've never worked for the big M). In other words, it's crap.

The other thing that made me smile was an interview on NPR. Not the content of the interview, but the fact that I could still recognize what both sides were saying between the lines. Being able to decode that meant that despite my recent NPR-listening, I have yet to become a mindless liberal radio devotee. Or whatever NPR's sinister plot for hapless listeners could be. And not to say that NPR's evil—it's not. I had just begun to suspect that my brain was turning to mush.

These suspicions started long before I got the PS2. Really.