fine whine

It has come to my attention that the last Ford Excursion has rolled off the production line in Louisville. No doubt it will fetch a pretty price somewhere in Texas, being all collectable and whatnot*.

I realize this isn't the end of everything, as the line isn't going to be suddenly cranking out skateboards or hybrids. Most likely it will be repurposed for large trucks, but hopefully ones that are sold to people who actually need big trucks and use them properly.

Sounds like they're getting rid of a couple hundred employees, as well. Wonderful. On the upside, they probably have enough unsold Excursions to drive all of the unfortunately downsized folks home. I figure they only need ten or twelve of them.

But seriously. There are already a lot of Excursions out there, and lots of other SUVs too, not all of which start with the letter "E". Apparently sales have been dropping, and even worse the resale market has gotten very, very bad. Bearish, you could say.

So what then to do with these assault vehicles that nobody wants? Especially if you happen to be a government that wants businesses to make lots of money? How about this: Ship them all down to Louisiana and Texas (and Mexico) and give 'em to the evacuees. Cut them FEMA checks for their gas fill-ups, and shazam, subsidies for the oil companies. The evacuees, at least as well off as Barbara Bush says they may be, could probably use some personal space, and in some cases probably didn't have as much room as a 19'x6' behemoth can provide, with luxurious carpeting and plush leather.

I'm joking, of course. If only I were kidding about the hundred-odd thousand Excursions that were already manufactured and sold. In September alone they sold 1,740 of the things, and 13,583 from January to this month. I couldn't find all of the numbers but still, every one of them sold was one too many.

* Mentioning this might be a tad extreme, but Nazi regalia is still avidly collected. Knives and guns generally kill only one person at a time, though.